A short to the point blog entry which airs what many of us think regarding our mobile phone usage and society being too connected. It certainly hits home for myself!
To many of us Americans, our cell phones contain a high percentage of our lives. It’s the device through which my mom and dad contact me, and how I get updated info on the weather. However, unlike the rest of my highly social family, I often hate the ease with which that little device allows people to contact me. It’s so noisy, buzzy, and annoying. In my opinion, the social world was better before cell phones. You could actually get away from people, and letters and house phone calls were a legitimate form of communication. People weren’t as “needy”. I actually believe that cell phones have created a pattern in our society where people actually believe that they need to have contact with certain people every day. It is becoming quite disturbing to me.
So what brought this written rant up? Yesterday, my phone just gave up the will to…
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Although you’re not my birth Dad,
You’ve loved me since I was small,
The road has not always been easy,
I’m sure at times you’ve wondered,
how you even got here at all,
There may have been times when I
Resenting you because you weren’t
my ‘real’ Dad,
And when the going got real rough at times,
I’m sure you felt you’d been had,
But time is the great healer,
She’s patient and loving and kind,
One day I woke up from my slumber,
And with you, I just changed my mind,
I decided you weren’t such a bad guy,
You really seemed like you cared,
You seemed to make Mommy so happy,
Perhaps I could open my heart just a wee
little bit, a wee little bit if I dared,
You stood there with arms wide open,
When I decided to take ‘the chance’,
It seemed so natural and made such sense,
Like a lovely, well-choreographed dance,
You never held it against me,
Those early days when I wasn’t so sure,
And when you hold me so close and so dear,
I now know our love is real and pure.
I live a twilight zone version of being a grandmother having to only see my grandchildren online.
As much as I would love to post photos of them and us spending time together we don’t have that luxury. Half of them live abroad and the rest are scattered here in the states and unreachable, not that we haven’t tried. Regardless, I adore seeing them any way possible, imagining what it would be like to actually hold all 6 close. I wouldn’t be a Granny if I didn’t show them off now would I?
Then we have the other three grandchildren who live in England where my husband’s family and grown sons reside. We were lucky enough to have the opportunity to travel to East Sussex last year to meet them for the first time. I don’t think there is anything as a grownup you can do to prepare yourself for becoming a grandparent and I will tell anyone it was scary and awkward that first 30 minutes having the kids jump all over us in excitement at our arrival. The first thing that came to my mind in that moment was my own grandparents, since passed away, and how much they meant to me as a child. From there it was a piece of cake. I wanted my “grand babies” to feel that same familiar happiness and I scooped them up hugging every one!
Sitting and looking at their photos could easily overwhelm me with depression because they aren’t in our life but I purposely switch gears into thinking ahead and hold onto the hope that before they grow up or we get too old we’ll be able to have one or all of them together with us for just one day. Being able to be an active grandparent in their life would certainly take the sting out of aging a little! Thank goodness for the internet and social media, in our case at least it and one of the children’s parents are able to share a tiny window of the children’s lives as they grow and change.
Empty nester, re-empty nester, now worn out old farts.
Something didn’t quite go correctly as it never does with children. By 2005 mine were off on their own and one boomeranged back at us for what was a very long last four years. Knocking wood he has been moved out now just over two weeks and restarted his life! The problem is he wore out ours. I have four simple words for letting a child move back home for whatever the reason,
“Do not do it.”
I am a helicopter mother (so I learned getting older). My adult child made some risky decisions and had to relaunch which I considered fine had I not known that it was a second man moving into the home. Of mine and my husband’s fourteen years together this is only our 5th alone sporadically and we hope to keep it this way. The ordeal took a big toll on us mentally, financially, and more-so physically. Oh yes it afforded son a chance to do things right but husband and myself lost years of working into retirement, forgot how to be a couple, and communication may have been the most important thing we neglected. I could sleep better knowing all is right in my children’s world but stay up all night worrying about mine in the wake of it.
Life is better day by day out of crisis mode. The bathroom stays clean, there isn’t man stuff everywhere and oh-the-peace. The fridge’ is even staying full finally, not that with recent events either of us has an appetite! I used to think older parents turning a cheek away to grown children was a bit cold but learned it’s self preservation and the best way to teach a grown child to find their own way, as hard a lesson as it is. It isn’t easier watching him leave a second time, but it IS what they and you need.
Nothing scares me more than my own mortality since entering my fifties.
I don’t know if this is normal because of my age or not but I’m guessing my fear is slightly obsessive. It’s a daily occurrence for me to worry about how much time I may have left and the things I still want to accomplish, top of my list is see and hold my daughter again and have one chance at being the grandmother I’m not. I always envisioned this to be the happier part of my life with my children and their children around. I always was a busy person yet with no family in my life I lead a retired lifestyle and don’t like it. I’m too young. I find myself watching and listening to the children and families across the street at the park while sitting here or listening to my upstairs neighbor’s grandchildren running back and forth overhead weekends, it makes me sad but smile at the same time.
It seems anytime I begin a new week I get a message or read of someone I grew up with has passed away. Losing my mother, father-in-law and my grandfather within a short time span still has me reeling along with the many others I’ve known. My father in Florida just turned 71 and had another heart surgery one week prior. I didn’t expect all this loss so young, in my fifties! I always thought this began later but I was naive thinking it I see.
Life doesn’t always begin at 40.
I had three mother‘s.
I applaud the women who influenced me in my life. My father’s mother, my grandmother, was pivotal in my life as a young child through adulthood and played a support role with my three children when her health permitted after they were born. My children’s grandmother, my first husband’s mom, greatly influenced me even before I married her son. I was a teenager and this woman was so accepting and warm that her home next door was always bursting with neighbors and family. My stepmother has always been my best friend though I only lived with she and my father a few years before finishing senior school. I love all three of these women dearly, wishing one was still in my life.
I had three mothers who taught me to cook, sew, and do anything to everything any young woman needs to know going into the world and having her own family. From them I was given a diverse but solid foundation to build my own family. I had no father figure, my parent’s were teenagers of the 1950’s. I have three grown children as mentioned, two sons and one daughter. My sons are talented and pursuing music careers, my youngest is a daughter who is a nurse with her own family, having recently given birth to our second grandchild. For reasons of her own she refuses to communicate with us and I miss her horribly.