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vodka

My Monday started at 2:28 am.

I have never been able to fall asleep on my own since my early twenties. Now in my 50’s I am an experienced hardcore insomniac. About 2 am I had resigned myself to finish up on the computer and get my body to bed where I would lay for another hour waiting to sleep as my brain fast forwards every random ridiculous thought:

“My knee blew out for no reason yesterday so I’m stuck home, if I plug my husband’s nose as he is sleeping will he really open his mouth to breathe? Who invented the color yellow? The toilet is leaking I need a plumber ….”

Before getting up from the computer I checked my email which I rarely use and my jaw dropped at what popped up in front of me. If I had never felt I was getting old before I did staring at the content of my inbox. An email from an old best girlfriend from my school days sat there. I had not seen or heard from her in 20+ years and she says she is living in the next town in my state!ย A couple years ago I was scanning my hometown online newspaper and came across her father’s obituary. Saddened, I left a guestbook entry and my email address and name hoping to somehow reach out to she and her family.

Sleep? Bahย Ha Ha Ha! My brain screamed sarcastically ย “Ain’t gonna happen now for sure!” My mind has been on instant replay of warm memories it brought rushing back.

In her short but to the point email she had included her phone number and said how much she hoped we could get together. The friend I remembered was a fun wise-ass, a stereotypical New York gal who made no bones about voicing exactly what was on her mind and I had admired that about her in high school as I was the quiet sort. We became the best of friends and when our children were young we were inseperable. Now her email in front of me sounded timid, almost resigned. Then again it was only a paragraph and maybe I was interpreting wrong. All day I have mulled over, “Should I call the number?”

Being the geek I am I looked the number up online to see if it was a landline or mobile number. If it was a mobile we could text, maybe not. Nope, it’s a landline.

I haven’t called it yet. I have been emotionally happy dancing we reconnected online yet I’m terrified and I don’t know what of or why. I have missed her dearly. Pickup the phone, put it down. What if she is at work and can’t answer, will I have the nerve to answer if she calls back? Argh!

Thirty years and then some is a very long time. What to do?

Monday in the trenches!

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