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Empty nester, re-empty nester, now worn out old farts.

 Something didn’t quite go correctly as it never does with children. By 2005 mine were off on their own and one boomeranged back at us for what was a very long last four years. Knocking wood he has been moved out now just over two weeks and restarted his life! The problem is he wore out ours. I have four simple words for letting a child move back home for whatever the reason,

“Do not do it.”

I am a helicopter mother (so I learned getting older). My adult child made some risky decisions and had to relaunch which I considered fine had I not known that it was a second man moving into the home. Of mine and my husband’s fourteen years together this is only our 5th alone sporadically and we hope to keep it this way. The ordeal took a big toll on us mentally, financially, and more-so physically. Oh yes it afforded son a chance to do things right but husband and myself lost years of working into retirement, forgot how to be a couple, and communication may have been the most important thing we neglected. I could sleep better knowing all is right in my children’s world but stay up all night worrying about mine in the wake of it.

Life is better day by day out of crisis mode. The bathroom stays clean, there isn’t man stuff everywhere and oh-the-peace. The fridge’ is even staying full finally, not that with recent events either of us has an appetite! I used to think older parents turning a cheek away to grown children was a bit cold but learned it’s self preservation and the best way to teach a grown child to find their own way, as hard a lesson as it is. It isn’t easier watching him leave a second time, but it IS what they and you need.

 

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